mind for dementia

Going away

2009-08-06T00:35:00.001-07:00

Not that it matters, but I will be going away for a while. I am at a crossroads in my life and I have decided to go get help. To the one person who actually reads this, thank you for all of your help through the years, and I am genuinely happy to have been your friend. I wish you all the best.

Guns

2009-06-21T01:00:00.000-07:00

Well folks, today's addition to this poorly written blog discusses one of my favorite subjects! Guns!! And more importantly the use of them! I am salivating at the thought now!!!!
No today will not be along the political climate in this country, and my right to bear arms in case some stupid liberal assuming I'm unarmed robs my house. That would be a short post any who. They break in, I turn their head in to a canoe...rejoice as I inform the law that one less scumbag lives, and the end. So none of that today.
No today we go into the glory that is the shooting range. I went there with my dad today as a present for fathers day! Great fun. I can finally out shoot the old fart. Only took the loss of half his eye sight, and some good ol army training. And you know what? It was a lot of fun. I don't usually experience too many new things. We only went through 130 rounds though sadly. It was short, sweet and loud! Then it was off to do baby back RIBS!!!!!!! Fucking holidays rule! Well, I am drunk, so I'm off!

Crazy

2009-06-19T04:29:00.000-07:00

OK, this is wrong, really.
I your humble host actually enrolled in school. And not just to do something like accounting, or buisness. I am irresponsible enough to WANT to be a teacher. And history of all subjects. You see, children need all of the help they can get in life, and I feel my life experience is such that I can offer a reasonable opinion for a child in need. Besides, young men don't have enough male roll models. Any who I am gonna throw a congrats to one of my oldest friends, AMY!!!! Congrats on the baby!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

God Hates Me

2009-06-07T22:34:00.000-07:00

Maybe it is because I am terribly average except at failing in extraordinary ways. Maybe its the fact that I know that he is going to do something fucked up to me, and that nothing surprises me anymore. Maybe still is the fact that no mater how much I say it doesn't matter any more but still does. God will find a way to fuck me over. And over. And if not satisfied with the melted down shell of a man he left behind... he might just fuck with my family.
The last blogs I half ass wrote with no serious thought to how it read, I was doing remarkably well. But alas, It was not meant to be.
No, God has other plans. As if killing me as a child by letting me drown, then having some fucking paramedic revive me so that the battery could continue by an abusive step mother and brother wasn't enough. He decided that he would then pick off everyone whom meant anything to me one by one. Then it was off to a childhood where I was reminded that nothing would ever be good because I was there, and I was too stupid to ever amount to anything.
Then he decided a fucking war was in order. That sure was fun. Lots of exciting things to see that I really wish I hadn't.
He then did something amazing. The one person in life who never failed me, he had marry me. Only to have her become a fucking snake after he killed off several attempts to create a beautiful little life. The taking of the children still hurts. All I ever wanted was a kid. Now it appears he cut that avenue off too.
So after a long road of isolation and self pity( much like the one I embark on now) I tried to do it right. And sometimes I did get it right. But It was only an act. I have never been able to let it go. The fear is always there. And wouldn't you know God came back in Spades. I tried out for the police. Made the top 5 % on the academics test. Out of 2400 people, I was pretty proud. Then Came the physical. I missed the run, but it is my fault for becoming a fat ass. I trained. I cut back on my drinking. Then SNAP! Doing nothing more than walking up the stairs, my fucking foot breaks. For absolutely no fucking reason. I cant even go up the god damned stairs.
Then, he decides that while he has my attention, he will fuck with my family again.
I got a call 3 weeks ago, that my sister, who was actually a healthy 30 something, for no apparent reason had a stroke. Terrified, I rushed as fast as anyone can possibly hop to the hospital. The funny thing? It was exactly a year to the date of my moms stroke. My mom never returned from the hospital, she is here, but not quite the same person. Every day I talk to someone I know, but have to get to know. She has a slightly different personality. Not that I have room to talk. I don't even know who I am. They say my sis will likely be the same way. There, but slightly different.
And again I find myself at war with myself. Its a war that i loose more and more ground in everyday. When screaming doesn't drown out the noise, and all that is left is the bitterness in the knowledge that all that is left is suffering..... how do you look forward to a tomorrow?

Where to begin PT 2

2009-04-04T18:50:00.001-07:00

So the drive across town sucked because we were stuck in a major delay and sobriety was a thing none of us desired. My friend Fern was rocking back and forth at the lack of action and substantial intake of beer, was near his wits end. He rolled down the window and asked the people in the next car if they had ever seen liberty bell. "NO!!!" was the scream in horror at our retarded friend, knowing full well that he intended to expose himself not only in public but on a highway in which we were stuck. Looking at those people was not our idea of fun, and neither was a naked Fern. Maria then told me that if i was worried about him, I couldn't possibly be paying attention to her. The next 35 min were of no significance as it was spent with adolescent make out sessions and our driver screaming that this bullshit traffic was wasting valuable time for drinking.
We arrived at my friend Jay's house and it is packed. No place to park, but around the corner, and his neighbors are actually having a gathering on their own. I instantly realised my neighbors sucked and wished I too could live in a neighborhood that had giant social gatherings. Fern didn't even wait for the car to turn off, he was gone, purpose driven towards the keg that surely existed inside the house. on my way out of the car, my hand was grabbed by maria, and I was informed that my party was not inside that house but in the back seat with her. Now I'm not about to argue with a pretty lady and, certainly not going to kiss and tell but we woke up in the car around 7 in the mourning. That annoying ding noise as someone opens a car door. My friend Chris smiling, asking how we slept. Me, with a crick in my neck, and a beauty on my shoulder just smiled. "Sleep", I replied. "I don't think you can do that in a car." She laughed, said my bed better be made, because I need my beauty sleep. Chris asked if we had seen the black out king, and we replied no. We then wondered if Fern was going to show up weeks later with Tiajuana Gangster tattooed on his lower back. Knowing that he isn't called showstopper for no reason, we called a cab and went back to the restaurant to fetch my car.

Where to begin Pt.1

2009-03-05T11:20:00.000-08:00

The last two weeks have been complete mayhem for me, and so I broke the promise to complete at least one post for any given week. I will therefore be writing one every day till I have this changing point in life fully layed out.

Two weeks ago Tuesday my best friend and I decided to out for drinks and food at one of the national wing chains. We decided that Makers Mark and Coke, or Irish Car Bombs were the only acceptable drinks on a night in the middle of the week for which to remove 5 years of the shitty end of life. After we enjoyed a ridiculous amount of Garlic Mushrooms and super hot hot wings, our buddy Fern arrived. This is a recipe for disaster as he is not called the black out king for nothing. After downing two quick rounds of car bombs, I see a large group of random strangers with a majority population of females enter, and in the mood to party decide to buy all 9 of them a round.
After some brief introductions, with everyone around I turned my attention to one of the guys named Mike. Not because I am attracted to another man, but because he looked familiar. And in a city of nearly 2 million people, this does happen from time to time. I asked the usual bullshit, where did you go to school, do you wait anywhere, did you date my friends, none striking home. Finally I asked, "DID you serve?" And bam! The home run was hit. We actually should have both felt like assholes, because you NEVER forget people who have had your back in a Fire Fight. See he served in Germany in our sister unit and we had been drinking together before. He was actually one of my good friends that I plundered that whole country with, but we rarely saw each other.
When we went to Iraq, we ran in different areas of Baghdad, but lived on the same Base. We had actually done tons of joint missions and eaten at the same chow table numerous times. We just never met each other with a beard, or looked so out of shape to each other. After realising that we were indeed amongst friends the drinking hit high gear. This wonderfully tall Brown eyed Hispanic girl named Steph asked me if I really served in the was with Mike, and after a confirmation she told me that she was glad to meet someone else who he served with. We toasted the table, downed another round and she began to ask me the usual "Interested" questions. Are you married? Do you have a girlfriend? Do you want one? The last bringing a huge smile to my face.
By this time my selections on the internet juke box finally on Kicked off with the tasteful selection of Slayer!! Raining Blood. This got the whole group of like minded headbangers riled up. After a non P-G explanation of what she liked to do to the song, she found her way into my arms. Nearly an hour later and four rounds later, she was Asked where it was I liked to go drinking. When I told her where, she asked if I knew any of the bartenders there. "I know them all!" I replied rather cocky. To which she informed me that not only was the very sexy Kitty her running buddy, but that one of my partners in crime Jay was also her friend. Once again in a town of nearly 2 million people, completely on opposite ends of the city, I meet people who know people. Lets go get hammered she yells!
After paying our rather steep bills, we find the 2 designated drivers and make the cross town journey.
Continued tomorrow....

Drinky!!

2009-02-21T00:56:00.000-08:00

His lordship snuffy would like to tell his 2 whole readers that he is not on the down and out, he was merley sick. Im too shit faced at the moment to intelligibly write right now, but if I dont write something I would be a bastard ass hole face, and possibly a bag head.....I love you all!
P.S. your all way better at this shit than meeeee!!!

As for me, I hocked my brains packed my bags and headed west

2009-02-13T21:18:00.000-08:00

So after needing to recover from the disgusting feeling in my stomach after such a blog post filled with this HOPE garbage, His Majesty Lord Snuffy decided it was time to act like a hermit!
So with his meager 120 dollars to my lowly Irish name, I decided it was time to go west! I took a trip to some of my favorite West Texas towns.
I started here in San Antonio, and just got in the Chariot er... piece of shit mustang....and didn't stop till I realised I almost fucked myself. You see folks, If your going to drive through the empty expanse, its best to look at your gas gauge. If its at 1/4 tank, its best to buy Dino fuel before your stopped 15 miles from the nearest town....Lucky for my lazy ass, there was no WALKING to be done as there was a hole in the wall gas station right outside of Hondo. So after a quick fill and a 2 liter soda, it was time to go. An hour and a half later, I was In Del Rio!!! I love this place. It has Muy Bueno Don Mocilinos Mexican Restaurant, and there tasty fajitas!!! And it has Lake Amistad! An awsome place to go to fish. but with no fishing gear I thought hey, Ill just walk the dam. No prob right? Wrong. I get to the entrance of the fucking dam and its closed! Then much to my disgust I hear these fucking hecklers cussing me in Spanish. Not one known for a temper, I tried to shrug it off. But these fucking morons actually tried to tell me to give them a ride. Fuck you is my obvious answer to the short little faggots who looked as though a shower hasn't had their company in 3 or 4 days.
Now I don't carry, but this is Texas, and I do conceal on trips in my car. And when my friends decided to not take my hint, they wound up face to face with 38 special. I will never understand why people insist on trying to fuck with someone who is inside their car, especially in this gun happy state. But after a very pissy remark about being white trash scum, the obviously least drunk individual decided that my pea shooter was indeed enough to kill someone dead, and beckoned the other fools to leave me be. A very fortunate set of circumstances, couse I have enough on my conscious.
So from Del Rio it was off to Odessa and the sea of brown. I hate the desert. Not dislike, not don't care for, I fucking hate it. Which is exactly why I went. I needed to remind myself that while I am really pissed over the way things are going, I could always live in this piss hole. In fact this expensive 7 hour reminder is so overwhelmingly effective that I left an hour after I arrived. The sun was up, and I haven't slept yet. I haul ass past Midland to the Hwy 87 south exit and booked for San Angelo. While not the most amazing city known to man, San Angelo has a homey feel to it that just welcomes you to it. I stoped at one of the Local joints, had a chicken fried steak which was larger than the plate it came on and less than 7 bucks. Went into the parking lot and slept for around 4 hours. After my nice nap, I was feeling really crusty. So I turned on the AC headed for I 10 and home. after a beautifully scenic drive in the hill country I find myself on the outskirts of town, and what do I see?? The most hated day of the year. Valentines day. Just when I was starting to feel better, I get to see these sick pictures of people happily in love, not at all like myself and I wonder. Will I ever get to see what these jack asses in the pictures feel? Meh, why bother, i decided, and so I made this lousy ass attempt to make a post. If you made it this far, thanks for coming along for the ride, but my best friend just gave me a bottle of moon shine, and I got so memories to drown. Till next time.

Suck and Fail.

2009-02-07T21:54:00.000-08:00

Simple enough to wrap your mind around. Take your typical burned out vet. Give him a few years to try and get over the mental reality of life after war. Have him try out for the police dept. Watch him sweat with worry as he tries to not psyc himself out. Wondering if he is going to hurt something and have to go back into that goddamned wheelchair.
1st event. Passed...look at him, confused as he has'nt done shit in 4 years.
2nd event. Hold on...how did these guys who are in increadible looking shape fail, and his fat ass pass??
3rd and final event. After scratching the back of his head raw from disbelief that he is still here when the supermen he thought he had no chance against were all but gone. Look at him run, he looks funny all tired and sweaty. Did he actualy finish the run? What the hell, people are walking behind him. wait they are yelling at him to hurry. The back of his fat theighs burning, arms like spaghetti, lings about to explode. The irony taste of blood in his mouth. But wait,..thats not blood. Thats the failure coursing through his veins. Like ice water that just ruined his wonderful day in paradise. 28 seconds too late. Its what he gets for having a hope. Hope floats just like fish crap in a dirty lake. Mabee next time he will actually prepare. That new gym membership better be worth it becouse it sure as hell is expensive. But at least he finished the damn thing. Unlike the cowards that looked so wonderful, and gave up. Guess he still has a little grit after all. Its sure good to be alive.

The long walk

2009-01-26T21:13:00.000-08:00

Today was a funny day for me, I woke up at around 7:30 am, and just put on a shirt and shorts on and walked my ass out the door. Where did my dumb ass go you ask? Hell if I know but my trek according to map quest was around 18 miles. This would also explain why me feet hurt really really bad. It was however a nice way to reflect upon the changes to this city!
I started from my house to go down town which if you ever get a chance to visit San Antonio, is a great influx of Spanish, Mexican, and typical Texan influence. Great architecture, wonderful food and the kindest most polite people ever. Its nice to go down town and just admire the scenery. I am a professed people watcher, and this city is a great place to do it. I picked a random shady bench to take my much deserved break and was cough up in the movement of City officials, Business men, happy couples swaying to their own personal love song, romancing in the mild near spring like air. High school students here on a Field trip from Houston to visit the Alamo, only to discover a city with its own vibrant culture built around the historic land mark. The smell of Grilled Fajitas and mesquite BBQ pits swell in the air. It is an intoxicating mix of easy going attitudes and wonderful foods that make this trip worth it every time for me. Then I spot them.
The most adorable old couple. Her in a wheel chair, him pushing. They had to be in their late 70's and probably more in love than they were in their 20's. Probably in disbelief at how much things have changed in their lifetimes, yet the flame of true love still warming their souls like chicken soup on a cold wet night.
That is life. Living at its finest and these are the kind of people I truly admire. Not worried over economics, or war, they have seen it, lived it, and loved through it.
Content that I had seen what I sub consciously set out to see, and feeling a little better knowing that happiness is attainable began my long trip home. At a much slower, less deliberate pace. This is San Antonio after all. Whats my hurry?

Huh,

2009-01-26T02:04:00.001-08:00

Well folks this is strange. I was out eating with a few friends at my buddies resturaunt. I took a sip of my drink and did'nt want it. This is a crisis of epic proportions as there was the silky goodness that comes only from Jim Beam in that glass. I don't know if I just really did'nt like the way it mixed with the Ribeye Ala Mexicana, but this was definatly a cause for concern. I have seldom lacked interest in such a tasty drink, so I will see how it is in a few days. I am actualy blaming it on a possible dehydration from my run today. I was retarded and was'nt doing the fluids like I should.
So yes, there you have it I actually made a blog post about my Jim Beam not tasting right. I am going to go hide in a small dark corner, my disgrace in tow.......

On a side note, the dinner was fabulous! My buddies Matt and James and Matt's new girlfriend who is completely hillarious were there to laugh at my total lack of dignaty as I asked for a plain coke.

Me

2009-01-25T04:11:00.001-08:00

Well, Im back, not that it matters, I am in effect talking with my self....but what the hell. I woke up this mourning, realising that hey, Things have been amazing as of late, so why not post again. No negitivity,....er...not a lot of negitivity would do me some good!
Things I have done and resolved.
1.I loose no more. Period. After a near go to jail stint, I decided that the verry polite officer whom helped me was a great example of what to strive for. He was kind, and still no push over.
2. Loose some goddamned weight. Already done it. 22 pounds in a little over a month! Feels real good too. I forgot how much agression I can purge in a serious no frills work out. Besides, the added attention of not feeling like a slob is a fond memory that I get to re-live!
3. I will quit grinding my teeth over the commander in cheif of this country. I have no problembs with him personaly, just some of his policies. However, I will conduct my self with a tad more dignity than the far left loons that suffered from a derangement complex over the last president. I will give him the benifit of the doubt, and I do like some of his ideas. The games need to stop, and he apears to be attempting to blow the game ending wistle..
(I do wish we would pick someone other than a tax cheat to run the tax service, but hey...we cant win them all. I just wish he wasnt taking the expideant route by saying, yes he is a crook, but we need him...cant we have someone without scandal for once?)
4. Let go of the past. This was the most important thing ever to me. I no longer try to re live the past by attempting to be me like I used to be. Its impossible. I have half the world under my boots, and a new out look on life. Perspective that is different from my old one. Its good. The change is amazing. I learned to embrace who I am, and well Its pretty damn nice!
5. Make the police department!!! I placed very high on the writen test, so I hope to pass the initial physical test. This would not only be a great carreer, but a way for me to do some good in life again not only for me but the comunity as well.
So there you have it, a new pic, a new out look, and a fresh feel! And A drink now and then dont hurt either!

Hiatus

2008-10-20T19:46:00.000-07:00

So, to my two readers, Globus and Amy I guess I should say where the hell I have been.
Well drunk, ...um yeah thats it. I dont know why but I have been in a fun fay lately. Ok, a lie. I actually was in a really bad accident at work that I am personaly glad I survived. So my writing went on hold. Then I self medicated with teh booze! So while not a total lie, it was awsome to have people visit me while I was in bed and get me shit faced with out even having to get dressed!!!! I hope all is well on your ends. Be safe, and believe me I mean it.

Weekend madness by the numbers!

2008-09-01T21:28:00.000-07:00

Folks first off, i am a damn plagiarist. I stole this Idea from Amy and her insomniac musings, who stole it further from else where. I believe I know now how the Associated Press got so caught up with their coverage of this last hurricane. Any who by the numbers... Easy!!!
12. The number of times I failed at bowling a frame of more than 150...(god I suck)
14. The number of Jim Beam and cokes I consumed on Sat night! Woo hoo to having the pull of being a regular who tips well so the bartender drives you home at no charge!!!!(Well maybe the cost of my dignity)
1. The number hot best friends of the hot chick who stood me up that I made out with publicly in front of said stander upper hot chick!! This one is for some reason interested in continuous correspondence and future swapping of DNA.
4. The number of dirty looks stander upper gave me as I enjoyed the company of stander uppers hot friend. (Great success!)
2. The number of bottles of Bushmills that we went through at the party I threw last night!
11. The number of people who came to said gathering!
0. The number of regrets I have after such a fabulous weekend!!! Besides this hot friend of the stander upper winch is actually a much better version as she is not high maintenece and loves football!!!

YAY for friday!

2008-08-22T17:16:00.000-07:00

Oh yes, its very much that day of the week that causes endless joy in my lackluster life! Folks its Friday, and today snuffy is going to go bowling,....well er drinking with a round or two thrown in. Lets hope that fellow bowler/ prospect Code Named Completely Gorgeous helps snuffy get a strike!!!!
This person has been a friend for eons, and while snuffy has always found her majestic, I never believed that this person was even remotely interested. It took the Divine intervention of her friends to smack the back of the head, and say "Hey stupid, she thinks your cute!" Lies obviously. This sick trap will work only cause whilst liqueured up, I care as much as a poo slinging chimp! Besides I never was one to worry over these things. Here's to hoping for fireworks!

My mind At its worst

2008-08-20T18:08:00.000-07:00

Folks it has been a hectic week, and as the blog name states I am having the usual problems figuring out who the hell I am. I am a slightly Conservative well mannered and liked individual who on the surface appears to be calm, rational, and in control. There is however a slight problem with this. I am actually quite the opposite. You see I have been fighting myself since the war, and it gets really hard sometimes(Especially times of stress) to control my rage. I have a number of things that will flash through my mind daily that I barely control. One moment it is grief, the next hate, I really cannot stand it. As I stated in my last post, I have acted out on my feelings. My in ability to control that basic instinct tells me that I am loosing progress that I felt I made. This poses a problem as well as snuffy now stays awake for days on in now. I hate not being able to sleep as it also ads to the stress, which in turn deprives sleep. My only therapy lately seems to be the hooch, but I do NOT want to wind up she stinks ass homeless drunk you see on the street corners.
The left tards in this country do not help. They provide me with endless speak of baby killer and self victimization that in this country is impossible to find.
But until I figure out how to over come my hatred of shrinks(quacks) I will have to adapt and suffer. Ah the price of freedom.

Why???

2008-08-16T09:49:00.000-07:00

Why is it that snuffy can never drink in peace?? I verry much understand the whole freedom of speach thingy, and glad that I am a defender of said freedom. However there are people whom should just be told to close their mouths or die. (Chi Con ish?) (Mabee more like Uncle Vlad) You would be right. Which is why I struggle with theese things. However with freedom of speach comes the freedom of violent reaction. And while it verry well got me arrested, it earned me ever great satisfaction!!!!
I was at my new favorite watering hole, enjoying a nice white russian, when this stupid bastard walks up to me, reads my shirt and and asks:
"You millitary?"
"Yeah."
"I just wanted to say that everyone in the new movement thinks you guys are a bunch of smelly merciless baby killers."
" Well I do defend freedom so speach, so Im glad you are able to voice your opinion, no matter how stupid it is."
This is where he started to grate my nerves.
"When Barrack (Jesus almighty messiah hussain savior alah buda christ lord god) Obama becomes president we arent going to have a millitary becouse he thinks you are just devils who hurt childeren for fun too. "
"Sir, seriously just let me enjoy my drink. Its been a long day and I am really tired of stupid."
"I hope your friends are all dead."
I highly doubt he saw it coming, but believe me I threw the best haymaker I could muster, cought that son of a bitch square on the nose, broke a knuckle, and smiled as the sherrif took me out side to arest me. Luckily I only face a small fine!!!!! Being a goody two shoes most of the time, means that first offenses are usualy looked over. So here is to the stupid fuck that will hopefully remember that freedom of speach comes with the freedom of retribution.

War

2008-08-11T12:28:00.000-07:00

War, War never changes,..lol (Fall out joke)
No seriously, just when i think its over, snuffy gets stop lossed. This drives me bat shit crazy. I was just starting to grow my ridiculous white trash beard out, and enjoy my job with all my weekends off when i get recalled.
Fuck it, i might as well re enlist for life as it apears im going to be in for the long haul.
On a positive note, Snuffy is drinking substansial amounts of the alcohilic wonder known as wild turkey!!!!
And the JOB is good.
So here is to never getting to grow my retarded red beard.(Sigh)

The End

2008-07-11T22:06:00.000-07:00

Folks,..well the two of you who actually read this, it is indeed the end. I am finally going to be done with my millitary career. I am rather sad at the death of this chapter in my life, but also overjoyed that the last thing keeping me anchored down in my old life will be gone. I look back rather fondly of my comrades fallen in battle, and my many more who still carry on their service. I wish I too could have, but alas there is nothing one can do to change the circumstanses in which they face. Along with this end in my service, I will be saying good bye to a great many people who have ment the world to me. It is time to move on to different things, and on with life. On the up side I get to grow my burly ass beard out and scare the living shit out of strangers. Also it means more blog neglect as I wont be doing bullshit reports and crap for said army. It really sucks balancing a verry much full time job, and army stuff.
I am intirely too drunk, and un carring to continue this bullshit. To the few of you assholes whom I served with that read, but refuse to blog, I wish you guys all the luck. Snuff

Ah, weddings....

2008-07-05T23:26:00.001-07:00

Yesterday was a very popular American holiday. July 4Th. Independence day. And what better way t enjoy this Holiday than by watching two souls give up their freedoms with an ill advised marriage that neither of the couple thinks is really a good idea to start with!
Folks, I cant help but feel that a shotgun wedding would have more joy than this one.
For starters, the bride who was on premises was an hour late as she refused to come out to participate in "The happiest day of her life". The groom looking both foolish for appearing, and doomed when he saw her, was the butt of many hushed jokes at my bench. She was crying before she even made it to him for her father to pass her on to him, and when he went to shake the poor grooms hand, he looked as though he would kill him, nearly jerking his arm out of socket.
So the priest began his rhetoric about unity, whilst the couple half hearted repeated their false vows, and ended it with the kind of peck that just said"Mistake". Then she broke down realising the error in her ways, and tried to leave! Ofcousrse she could not, as the reception was to take place. This really caused a riot, as there were tons of people to dance with her, but none would with him!! They literally turned him down. His own mother wouldn't!!!! Fucking fabulous! Well, enjoy folks, I did!

WOW!!!

2008-06-30T21:21:00.000-07:00

Folks, it has been some time since your humble host has posted. Since last time I updated this poorly written lame attempt at a blog, I was slaving away at underpaying bullshit job. NO MORE!!!! I could no longer stand the whole work over night, while my friends go drinking, and pick up new girlfriends whilst I slave away, getting threatened by hobos, and disgruntled ex employees of billionaire bastard that I guarded.
You should have seen my bosses face. I told him to eat shit and die twice! I am super happy as this new job works a lot more, but does it on unimportant weekdays, and never on weekends!!!! Cheap bars, drunk girls, and disgruntled taxi drivers here I come!!!
I cannot wait! This new job pays handsomely, and It gives PAID holidays!!! My boss is super fucking cool, and snuffy is ready to rock that freshly obtained divorce! I have not had a chance to because of Hebrew slave job.
Gotta cut this a bit short, as I am about to go Bat shit crazy with joy of new found freedom and money!!!!!!!

Blog neglect.

2008-06-04T04:40:00.001-07:00

It would appear that I have failed at updating this in a timely manor. I really suck at remembering things, especially when I am busy.
I have been so damn busy that not one drop of alcohol has hit my lips in a week! This is a crime against humanity and will continue no more! In fact it is 6:45 in the AM, I just got off of work, tired like Hebrew slave, and drinking a nice cold brew as I type one handed!
Maybe after I get a few and unwind I will write something of value, but if not I will tomorrow.

not so fun things

2008-05-22T23:19:00.000-07:00

While I am no crybaby, the last month really fucked me up. I cannot sleep at all. Between my moms stroke, my working non stop, and fighting everyone around me, I am seriously fucking tired. For example.
My mother had a pretty bad stroke, and it would apear that all responsobility for her care taking is on my shoulders. My sister, nah that bitch is buisy. My stepdad? Nope. He is only married to her, and the NBA finals dont play in the hospital. My cousins, who the hell is my mom seems to be their response. I am not on the best terms with said mother but she is the birthgiver. However inept at parenting she was I do owe her that.
Werk? I would leave hospital, werk, then go back to hospital. Bullshit. That was bad enough, but now that said birthgiver is out of hospital, I am back doing 8 to 16 hour shifts. I werked 24 hours yesterday. Now on my day off, I am too goddamned tired to even socialise. My sister had the nerve to call me and ask if I would go help her at her house after she left me high and dry with the birthgiver in the hospital for 2 weeks. "No, fuck off" was the only responce to her I could give becouse my ass was dragging so poorly that I couldnt think of anything better. Wasted opertunity.
Hope yet remains however, as I have BOOZE! This is the magic elixir that fixes all problems! It is the best thing on earth next to the opposite sex, and doesn't complain if I abuse it! So cheer me on my newly found alcoholism, and help me drink till I'm out cold!

The ex part 2

2008-05-08T03:48:00.001-07:00

As I was recovering in Kuwait from my injuries, I had the luxuries of hot food, and Internet. While I was in a chat room, I met a super cool and rather pretty girl online. The main thing that grabbed my attention was that she was ultra smart. I am a sucker for smart people as they are good at pointing out how smart I am not, and 2 they usually are caring individuals. I wont go through the whole shebang, but this wonderful person chatted with me everyday through therapy, and wouldn't let me get down on my self about getting hurt. This meant a bunch to me as I was quite depressed. It was such an unmanly injury. No one gets to brag about it, and my buddies were still fighting.
I left for Iraq again, where at the time we had not Internet. Stayed Abbot a month longer, and came home via a crazy ass 2 week stint in Germany! another story, promise.
Upon arrival home, I was notified that I had 62 days be for returning to Iraq.
Immediately, I began my hunt for Bel.
Upon arrival to her house I was told she moved. They wouldn't tell me why, and so like last time I walked out rather hurt.
I went to my house where I did as most vets do anyway, I went to my room for quiet and alone time. I was already dealing with a lot of shit, and didn't need this as well. This continued for about 3 weeks. I was pretty depressed all around and was not looking forward to returning to hell. Then It got worse, my beautiful prom date buddy, decided she couldn't stand the sight of me and told me the truth. The ex had a condom bust, and wound up prego thus attempting to make a relationship with said accident for the babies sake. That was the sweetest thing I had ever heard. I can say allot about my ex, but no one fucks with her Baby. She is a fabulous mother, well used to be any who. does some questionable shit now.
After this news was delivered I was sad and happy at the same time. There was a legit reason, and who was I to judge. 29 women in 10 moths of parties in Germany gives me the right to judge no one. So my buddy takes me out to the strip club! She is awesome like that! And she gets me totally drunk. Took me home after a couple of hours and decided at that point she was going to take care of me. She never left my side the rest of the time I was home. Off I went to Baghdad, into the hell on earth, and every week she answered my calls less and less. She told me she was out working on something. That she knew I wouldn't mind. One day I called and heard the trade mark opening to a conversation. And the beginning of the end. I in the middle of 6 months in Sadr city heard my Bel. She asked If I was mad at her, or disappointed in her. Of course I was not. I was actually proud of her for attempting to make it work.
I informed her that I had gotten to come home on leave, and that I would arrive Christmas day! She was super happy as was everyone else.
On the flight home I was sick to my stomach, and shaking. I missed this woman, bad.
As I walked down the ramp to her I swear to god, I nearly fainted. I was getting tunnel vission, and hyperventilating. She walked to me in the middle, with the most beautiful child Ive ever seen in her arms. Her quote verbatim. "I will go through rain, snow and sand to be with you. All I ask is that you accept my son." I told her accept him, he is beautiful.
She took me to the family Christmas party because naturally being my family, I am not important enough to quit eating or drinking beer to go to the air port to see. Most dispise my military service anyway. So upon arrival, only a few even bother to say hello. The rest make me go to them to introduce Bel again. I was there for about 20 min, before we left. my mom took baby, and we got home and didn't leave each others arms till the next mourning.
The next mourning we went to the park with baby who had a rather big thing with me. He still does. Little turd loves me to death. I miss him. Any who we got to walking in the park, and I realised just how much I loved that woman. So, I did what any dumb ass does. I went to the jeweler, got a beautiful ring, and proposed to her before dinner. She said absolutely, and I finished what I started, and followed through on my promise to her. We wed on January 3 of 05.
I went back to Iraq after a short honey moon.
My last week in Baghdad, I got hurt pretty good. The sent me ahead to Kuwait, and I told them I would wait for treatment in Texas with her. I got off of the plain and at the welcome home reception with about 5000 soldiers families there too I spotted her instantly. She was in white. It was white denim pants with a white low cut low mid drift top. And It was hot. My buddies finally got to meet her, and helped me with my bags to my car as I was on crutches couse I was a hard ass. I was supposed to be in a wheelchair, but I hate the things. Things were pretty good the first 2 weeks, then they confirmed that I indeed needed a wheelchair, and things Changed. They we not bad, but it was different. I got out of the army, and times were tough with money, but we were not poor. We didn't live great but not bad. I was rehabbing on my own as no help from the VA was araiving. I was teaching myself how to walk, and thats when things got started down the path of no return. I was walking down the Mall with her when my leg gave out on some stairs. I fell down the stairs, and she walked off, angry. I tried to catch her and did about 5 min later. She told me that she was embarrassed to be seen with me and that I should go sit down. I did, hurt and actually pissed off at her for the first time ever. I went off and became a truck driver, making about 850 dollars a week, and she wanted me home more so I quit. Then I went in to selling cars. I made a lot of money. I am not joking. I averaged 4,500 a month, and we couldn't pay bills couse of her. 8 months later, I came home from work, and started to kook her dinner. It was veterans day, which is the day before my birthday.Nov 12. She walked in the kitchen, told me she couldn't stand being with a cripple anymore. She said she always thought of me as superman, but now just thought of me as a pathetic man who got hurt in a fake war. She told me I should have died so it would be over quick, instead of watching me become a shell of my former self. Happy birthday, and she left. No hesitation. Just got in the car and left. Then she proceeded to drag out a long expensive divorce that lasted until APR 24. That's 17 months. She tried to run up 20,000 dollars in debt too, but failed, as the courts sided with me. That dumb bitch told a retired marine judge that the left cousse of that. Fool. Any who that is the last time I wish to discuss this as the last year and a half were hell. The only bright spot was that special someone who took good care of me the best she could online.

The Ex

2008-05-06T19:24:00.001-07:00

Ok, so I was asked to give my ex's story. Fair enough, I will indulge if only for story telling sake. There was an evil dragon that lived in a cave. ,..............oh wait, n/m
It all started my junior year in highschool. I was 16 at the time, and was walking through the halls with my friend Cris.
I was wearing a shirt from the beach that said If you can read this, pull me back in the boat. It was upside down, and displayed a picture of a guy falling into the water. As I was walking I felt a tug on my shirt. I turned rather annoyed to find the culprit, and saw the most amazingly beautiful human bieng I have ever witnessed. I felt like the world stopped. I developed tunnel vission, and was instantly hers.
When she said hello, I about fainted. No lie, I never went through anything like it since.
She told me she was a friend of my good friend jebus, and had been wanting to meet me for a month. My responce was I had been waiting to meet her my whole life. She asked if I would walk her to her class and I didnt even hesitate.
After school that day she asked if I wanted to hang out with her, and of course, I said yes. The minitue we were in (and this will sound cheesy, but its highschool) McDonnalds, she grabbed my hand and it felt like electricity flowing through out hands. We both just stared and smiled. We sat down to eat and never once let go of our hands. one of her friends made a comment that we would marry one day.
I walked her home, and just before her block, she Jumped up and Kissed me. I was hers. period.
We were together for around a month, before her dad made her break up with me for bieng white. She didnt want to tell me like that, so she just said she was calling it off. She was crying, and just ran off.
I didnt see her for almost a week. I was at school and In a freak accident, wound up needing 28 staples in my head.
I got taken to the hospital, and bieng that it was me, word traveled fast. There was noone who didnt know I was hurt pretty badly. Including her. The following day I returned to shcool, and upon my arrival, there she was, looking as beautiful as ever, and with a flower for me. I was sick to my stomache with happiness, and just walked up and kissed her. We were together for about 9 months after that incident, and then she became a bitch and broke up with me, for no reason. Just said get lost. I later found out she had to have a surgery, and didnt want me to know becouse her family would not let me around.
I went to prom with a good friend, went through summer without as much as a phone call, and most of the way through the next year. Yet every day I looked and hoped.
I graduated, and went to her house to tell her I was leaving for the army infront of her biker dad, uncles, and cousins. Walked right to the house, ignored any and all banter they sent my way and she met me before I made it to the door.
She said she couldnt talk anymore, and went inside. I walked right past the drunken male family members. Off to basic training. 6 months of thinking of her, and wanting to be with her. I worked my ass off. I made sure i made it so she would be proud. On my way home, she met me at the airport, in a shirt that was almost swimwear, and was designed like the american flag. This was after 9-11 so everyone was really breaking out the patriotism.
She told me she had assembled a party for me and all of my friends were waiting for me, and I told her I was only interested in her. She kissed me, and I carried her all the way to the car. we went to the party, there was plenty of wiskey, beer, friends, banter, and her! The only person missing was cris, but he was in school for the special forces, so it was almost perfect. We partied till about 2 in the mourning. I took her home and was met at the gate by said dad, uncles and cousins, and now her brother, whom became a freind. I thought they were gonna kick my ass, but stood my ground. Next thing i know we are listening to led zepplin and kiss, and there is a beer in my hand. We drank till about 6 am. She tried to come out and they sent her in, said it was male bonding time. lol. We were together the whole month I was home.
My orders came in to got to germany, and I asked her to go with me.
She said no.

I was crushed. Hurt, and felt betrayed. But when she said it was to go to school, I was instantly better. Then she told me to go experiance life. To be the partyman, and if i still wanted her, come back and get her. I made a promiss. I told her I would return and marry her.
Off I went, alone to the airport.
I arived in germany, met my new brothers, and we partied out asses off! We did things I will never bring up. Wild crazy and dumb. I called her every so offten, and she would tell me she was fine, and that she missed me, but that I shouldnt worry about her. She was doing exactly what I was doing and we were both ok.
I called one day and was told she moved. Broke my heart.
Then the war broke out and I had not time to even contimplate her existance. War will make you forget yourself, and everyone else around you.
Then I got hurt and met someone really special.
Part 2 tomarrow!

Le Divorce!

2008-05-02T22:01:00.000-07:00

FREEEDOM!
Goddamn whore has a grip on my throat no more!
That's right folks it is official. My first real post begins with the liberation of my personal life. After two years of separation I have become a free and very happy spirit. I know there are those who will say: Your not supposed to talk bad, or we don't have her side. Fuck off, this isn't her blog. If you want her side, read her blog, though i doubt she has the intelligence to write one. A hyena that one is. Anyone selfish enough to leave their partner for getting hurt in as she called it, A Fake War, is a dumb senseless cunt.
So cheer me on my newly found freedom, and I will attempt to write something more relevant tomorrow!

My first entry!

2008-05-02T21:41:00.000-07:00

Well folks if you are reading this then I am sorry. You are about to be bored and possibly loose IQ points. It is recommended that if you are going to continue further you have a stiff drink in hand and a sense of humor. I am by no means politically correct. In fact i find it offensive. I am not out to please anyone and if you are easily hurt, offended, or find words like fuck, shit, bitch, cunt, whore, dick, pussy,asshole, or any other language of this nature(colorful metaphors if you will), then read no farther. You will likely be subjected to things that will possibly hurt your feelings, and I have to be sensitive to your needs. I will endeavor to keep it as unprofain as possible though as no one likes a one trick pony.
Thanks again for reading, and I will endeavor to do my best not to use some of these words as my friend is attempting to get me to quit.